Nose Hairs and Gross Faces

When you spend a ton of time in an airplane, it becomes more of a second home. You do your best to get an empty row. You rarely sit next to the window, so you have a quicker exit. Still, you are sitting like sardines in a tin can at 30,000 feet, working to do your business.

One time I started doing a bit of grooming. It's a bit embarrassing to talk about, but in transparency — I started to pull out my nose hairs. Yes, I know, I should have used the proper time and place. I was just working to use my time effectively. You start to care less when you see people up close so often.

Anyway, I started to feel someone watching. I looked and caught a man pulling grossed-out faces at me. I was embarrassed, and I stopped.

The airplane later landed and I went to call my wife to let her know I was okay and soon on my way to my hotel. This was in the day before cell phones — it was phone booths back then. As I went into the phone booth to call, I noticed someone had left their wallet behind. With a bit of exploration, I was able to determine who it belonged to and later gave them a call.

As we worked to coordinate the return of the wallet, he asked, "How will I know who you are?"

I said plainly: "I'm the one who was pulling my nose hairs that you were making gross faces at." Now it was his turn to be truly embarrassed.

I guess that's why in so many ways I consider myself a cultured redneck from Idaho.